LEGITIMATE CONCERNS OF AN ILLUMINATED MASTER

Worried?

The next time some jerkass social authority figure tries to get you in favour of 'stricter measures' by reminding you to be stressed out about our current situations, you just look that bastard in the eye and tell him what ol' Buff Striding always says...

"Worried?"

"I'll tell ya what I'm worried about, friend-o... the wizard in the gas mask who's currently buzzsawin' his way through the membrane of our cosmos! Worried??? You're freakin' right, I'm worried. Zo is back -- half-manifest here on Earth in virtual form and tunnelling through from THE OTHER SIDE in his obscene corporeal body. And that ain't the half of it! My own father, who ripped my mother's insides to shreds while conceiving me, has loaned the Wizard Zo a legion of imperial Sasquarken. These creatures have the general shape and body of the North American "bigfoot" or "sasquatch" (although the similarity of name is mere coincidence) but their proto-hominid heads are marked by hideously large black eyes resembling the "gray aliens" who have been giving the US Gov't so much trouble... and beneath these inky orbs is a mouth-shrouding beard of worm-like tentacles writhing in non-linear patterns that hypnosize AND hypnotize lesser beings.

"An army of brutal Sasquarken led by the fiendish Wizard Zo! You're god-damned right I'm scared. If you aren't already crapping in your own trousers by force of habit then you bloodly well better start! Terrorism and Recession are gonna look like a pastoral pre-ant picnic pretty soon!"

PS - Although this should worry you, remember that by transferring the semantic locus of your self into BUFF STRIDING all your stresses and obstructive inner obstrusions will be naturally alleviated. Aum'taghn.